Colorado Voices
We Believe in God Too
8/11/2022 | 26m 40sVideo has Closed Captions
“We Believe in God Too” depicts the truths untold stories from the queer community.
In the series “Queer Faces of Color,” by creative Eboni Boneé, the “We Believe in God Too” installation depicts the truths of many untold stories from the LGBTQIA2+ community. By exploring the intersectionalities between queerness, love, religion, spirituality, and faith: their stories reveal their depth in the Black and African diasporic culture.
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Colorado Voices is a local public television program presented by RMPBS
Colorado Voices
We Believe in God Too
8/11/2022 | 26m 40sVideo has Closed Captions
In the series “Queer Faces of Color,” by creative Eboni Boneé, the “We Believe in God Too” installation depicts the truths of many untold stories from the LGBTQIA2+ community. By exploring the intersectionalities between queerness, love, religion, spirituality, and faith: their stories reveal their depth in the Black and African diasporic culture.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorship[MUSIC] - SOMETIMES IT'S REALLY AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL TO BE ABLE TO BE BLACK, AND QUEER, AND SPIRITUAL.
- IT IS YOUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOURSELF IN IGNORANCE.
IT IS YOUR JOB TO ACTUALLY LOOK AT SOMETHING THAT MAYBE MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.
- I BELIEVE ALL OF US ARE HERE TO CONNECT, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE'RE HERE TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THE BEST WAY THAT WE CAN.
- I FEEL LIKE THE COMMUNITY AND THE UNITY THAT WILL BE MORE AUTHENTIC ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO HAVE THESE SORT OF CONVERSATIONS AND NOT BE OFFENDED, BUT TO BE OPEN TO INTELLECT AND EDUCATION.
- JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AUTHENTICALLY, AND THAT'S YOUR SUPERPOWER.
- WE BELIEVE IN GOD TOO IS A PHOTOGRAPHY AND MULTIMEDIA SERIES AND INSTALLATION THAT GOES OVER THE INTERSECTIONALITIES OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BLACK, QUEER, IDENTIFY WITHIN THE QUEER COMMUNITY, IDENTIFY WITH SPIRITUALITY AND RELIGION AMONG THE AFRICAN DIASPORA.
THAT IS WHAT WE BELIEVE IN GOD TOO, DEPICTS.
THAT IS WHAT IT IS TALKING ABOUT.
IT IS PROPOSING THE QUESTION, WHY IS IT THAT IF I IDENTIFY AS QUEER OR WITHIN THAT SPECTRUM, IF I AM NOT ALIGNED WITH A HETERO NORMATIVE PERSPECTIVE, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE?
THAT IS WHAT WE BELIEVE IN GOD TOO IS PROPOSING FOR US TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION.
LET'S START.
- MY NAME IS JAS SHERMAN.
I'M 27 YEARS OLD.
I CONSIDER MYSELF A LESBIAN.
I GO BY SHE/THEY PRONOUNS.
- MY NAME IS LEX DUNBAR.
I USED THEY/THEM PRONOUNS.
34 YEARS OLD.
I'M A NON-BINARY BISEXUAL.
- MY NAME IS NAZIR WATTLEY.
I'M 31 YEARS OLD.
MY PRONOUNS ARE HE/HIM/HIS.
I CONSIDER MYSELF AS TRANS HETEROSEXUAL MALE.
AND I'M MARRIED TO HER.
- I'M RAVEN-SYAMONE WATTLEY.
31 YEARS OLD.
I CONSIDER MYSELF PANSEXUAL.
I GO BY SHE/HER PRONOUNS.
- MY NAME IS NIYANKOR AJUAJ.
MY PRONOUNS ARE HER/SHE, LIKE THE CHOCOLATE.
IN TERMS OF MY ORIENTATION, I IDENTIFY AS QUEER.
I FEEL LIKE QUEER IS THE WORD THAT NOT ONLY NAMES THE WAYS IN WHICH I LOVE, BUT THE WAYS IN WHICH I EXPRESS MYSELF IN THE WORLD, AND ALSO JUST IN TERMS OF MY THINKING AND MY IDEOLOGY.
SO, I WAS A QUEERNESS HOPE, SUMS IT ALL UP.
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] MY NAME IS NIZHONI ELIZABETH SMOCKS I AM 35 YEARS OLD.
I AM AN AFRO-INDIGENOUS CIS GENDER WOMAN.
- MY NAME IS TYRELL RAE.
I AM 36 YEARS OLD.
I GO BY HE/SHE/THEY PRONOUNS, AND I AM A GAY MAN.
- MY NAME IS ASH.
I AM 38 YEARS OLD.
I AM A BLACK, QUEER, NONBINARY PERSON.
- MY NAME IS TITI MPORAMPORA.
I DO GO BY TITI.
I AM 28 YEARS OLD.
MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE/HER/HERS, AND I IDENTIFY AS FEMALE.
- MY NAME IS KRISTEN LONDON.
I'M 35 YEARS YOUNG.
MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE/HER, DADDY IF YOU'RE NASTY.
MY ORIENTATION IS JUST BASICALLY WHO'S EVER GOOD TO ME.
- MY NAME IS EBONI BONEE COLEMAN, OR EB FOR SHORT.
I AM 30 YEARS OLD, AND I IDENTIFY AS A BLACK, PANSEXUAL WOMAN.
- GOD IS EVERYTHING.
- THE AIR, THE WATER, THE EARTH.
- GOD THE TO ME IS A HIGHER POWER.
- WHEN I THINK OF GOD, I THINK FOR EVERY PERSON, IT'S WHAT YOU CONNECT WITH.
SO, FOR ME, I CONNECT WITH WOMEN AND WOMEN OF COLOR.
SO, WHEN I THINK OF GOD, I DON'T SEE THIS STEREOTYPICAL IMAGE OF THIS WHITE MAN AND NO SHIRT ON.
I SEE A WOMAN AND A WOMANLY FIGURE.
- I BELIEVE THAT THESE STORIES SHOULD BE TOLD BY US.
WE BELIEVE IN GOD TOO FOCUSES ON WHAT IT MEANS TO BRING TOGETHER BLACKNESS, QUEERNESS, THE CULTURE, RELIGION, SPIRITUALITY, BECAUSE RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY ARE VERY TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
I'VE DECIDED TO DO THAT BECAUSE SPIRITUALITY AND EVEN THE CONCEPT OF RELIGION HAD BEEN THE FOUNDATION TO THE WAY WE MAKE DECISIONS, HOW THE WORLD SEES US, EVEN IN TODAY'S SITUATIONS.
I THINK IT'S UP TO THE INDIVIDUAL TO DEFINE WHO AND WHAT IS GOD?
- THAT'S A REALLY, REALLY GOOD, LOADED QUESTION.
WHEN I THINK ABOUT GOD, I THINK THAT GOD IS EVERYTHING AND NOTHING.
- FOR ME, I FEEL LIKE GOD IS LESS OF A WHO AND MORE OF A WHAT, MORE OF AN ENTITY, MORE OF MY SUNSHINE ON A CLOUDY DAY, MY JOY AND MY SADNESS.
GOD DEFINITELY REPRESENTS A PILLAR IN MY LIFE OF JUST WHAT I LEAN ON.
- SO, THROUGH CHRISTIANITY, IT'S BEEN DRILLED IN US TO WORSHIP THIS WHITE GOD SO THAT WE COULD CONTINUE TO SEE OURSELVES AS BENEATH AND POWERLESS TO THIS HIGHER BEING.
AND THAT'S SO FAR FROM WHO WE ARE AND WHAT MAGIC ENERGY THAT LIVES WITHIN US THAT WE WIELD OFF OF THE THINGS THAT ARE HERE TO OPPRESS US.
WE HAVE TO STAND AS A COLLECTIVE, AND THAT COLLECTIVE POWER AND COLLECTIVE ENERGY.
- SOMETIMES IT CAN BE CHALLENGING.
SOMETIMES IT'S REALLY AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL TO BE ABLE TO BE BLACK, AND QUEER, AND SPIRITUAL.
THERE'S LOTS OF HEALING IN THAT AS WELL.
IT'S CHALLENGING JUST BECAUSE BEING BLACK PROVIDES SO MANY CHALLENGES AND OBSTACLES, BEING QUEER, SAME THING.
- BUT I KNOW GROWING UP, ONE OF MY MORE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES TO SHAPE MY BELIEFS IS GOING TO A MORMON CHURCH AND BEING PULLED ASIDE, MY BROTHER, MY TWO COUSINS, AND I, AND BEING SEPARATED FROM THE NATIVE AMERICAN KIDS IN THE CLASS AND BEING TOLD WE'RE GOING TO GO TO HELL BECAUSE WE'RE BLACK OR BECAUSE WE'RE DARK-SKINNED, AND THAT WAS A TURNING POINT FOR BECAUSE WHY WOULD A GOD ALLOW FOR THAT TYPE OF BIGOTRY AND NOT ACCEPT ALL BEINGS AS EQUALS.
SO THAT FOR ME, BEGAN THE LONG JOURNEY OF CHALLENGING TRADITIONAL BELIEFS OF GOD.
- I'VE EXPERIENCED A LOT OF CONFLICT WITH NOT ONLY MY QUEERNESS AND MY SPIRITUALITY, BUT JUST ALSO MY BLACKNESS TOO.
ALL OF MY IDENTITIES.
EVEN AS SOMEBODY WHO IDENTIFIES AS A CISGENDER WOMAN, I FEEL LIKE MY IDENTITIES ARE ALWAYS IN CONFLICT WITH ONE ANOTHER.
- BEING BLACK AND QUEER DON'T GO TOGETHER.
THEY AREN'T HAND TO HAND, SO THINGS THAT-- I FEEL LIKE THINGS THAT MEAN BEING BLACK SOMETIMES CONTRADICT BEING QUEER.
SO, BEING BLACK CAN SOMETIMES MEAN THIS BLACK LOVE, THIS BLACK FAMILY.
AND OFTENTIMES, YOU DON'T SEE QUEERNESS IN THAT.
AT THE SAME TIME, BEING QUEER MEANS HAVING ALL OF THIS LIKE OPENNESS AND JUST-- I FEEL LIKE OFTENTIMES, BEING QUEER DOESN'T ALIGN WITH BEING BLACK BECAUSE THE IMAGE OF QUEERNESS ISN'T BLACK.
EVEN IN THE RAINBOW, THE COLOR BLACK AIN'T IN THERE.
SO, IT DOESN'T GO HAND IN HAND OFTENTIMES, AND ON MY DAY-TO-DAY, I HAVE TO REALLY FIGHT TO SHOW BOTH OF THOSE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT IS WHO I AM.
SO, I FEEL LIKE IT'S LIKE A SEESAW, LIKE ALWAYS TRYING TO BALANCE A SEESAW, BUT WISHING BOTH SIDES COULD BE UP ALL THE TIME.
- AS SOON AS I LET MY CHURCH FAMILY KNOW THAT WE WERE ENGAGED, I INSTANTLY STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH JUST BECAUSE I WAS INSTANTLY TOLD THAT I WAS GOING TO GO TO HELL FOR MARRYING A WOMAN, WHICH IS NOW MY HUSBAND NOW.
- I FEEL LIKE GOD IS THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS.
I FEEL LIKE HE'S THE ONE WHO INSTILLS OUR VALUES AND OUR MORALS IN EACH ONE OF US.
I ALSO FEEL LIKE HE'S THE ONE THAT GIVES US OUR BLUEPRINT, GIVES US OUR PERSONALITIES, GIVES US WHO WE ARE IN LIFE, AND HE'S THE ONE THAT WE WILL EVENTUALLY ANSWER TO AT THE END OF THIS PASSING OF LIFE.
- WHO I AM IN ALL MY FULLNESS OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO SHOW UP IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD OR SPIRITUALITY, RIGHT?
OR WE'RE GONNA BE FAKE, RIGHT?
- TO ME, THE SEPARATION WITHIN QUEER AND BLACK-- SO, THE RELIGION AND STUFF LIKE THAT IS JUST COMPLETELY CRAZY TO ME BECAUSE THE BIBLE WAS GIVEN TO THE SLAVES TO KEEP US INLINE, RIGHT?
SO, WHY WOULD WE TAKE THAT TOOL TO FURTHER OPPRESS PEOPLE OF OUR SAME SKIN COLOR WHEN WE'RE ALREADY SWIMMING AGAINST THE TIDE, WE'RE SWIMMING AGAINST THE CURRENT.
SO, NOW WE TAKE SOMETHING THAT WAS GIVEN AS A TOOL TO CONTROL, AND AS A BLACK COMMUNITY, WE NOW HAVE ADOPTED THAT SAME TOOL TO CONTROL A WHOLE NOTHER MARGINALIZED GROUP.
THAT CYCLE IS JUST ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME.
SO, I FEEL LIKE THE COMMUNITY AND THE UNITY THAT WILL BE MORE AUTHENTIC ARE WHO ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE ABLE TO HAVE THESE SORT OF CONVERSATIONS AND NOT BE OFFENDED, BUT TO BE OPEN TO INTELLECT AND EDUCATION.
- I WAS RAISED LEARNING THAT GOD IS LOVE AND HE LOVES EVERY SINGLE PERSON.
IT WAS ALSO INTERESTING WHEN I WOULD GO AND SPEND TIME WITH SOME OF MY AFRICAN RELATIVES AND THEY WOULD BE LOVE PEOPLE, BUT DEFINITELY, THERE WAS A SENSE OF-- WITHIN THE LG, IF YOU IDENTIFY WITHIN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY, YOU WOULDN'T GO TO HEAVEN.
- THE PERSON SHOULD DEFINE WHO IS GOD TO THEM.
OF COURSE, WE COULD TAKE IN DIFFERENT OPINIONS, WE CAN TAKE IN BOOKS, WE CAN TAKE IN THE BIBLE, FOR INSTANCE.
HOWEVER, GOD SHOULD BE DEFINED BY SELF.
GOD SHOULD BE DETERMINED BY SELF.
IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING THAT MORE SO RESONATES WITHIN YOU, NOT JUST SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE TOLD OR SOMETHING THAT IS LEARNED.
WE CONSTANTLY ARE WORKING ON WHAT IT MEANS TO UNLEARN THINGS.
I'M CONSTANTLY WORKING ON WHAT IT MEANS TO UNLEARN EVERYTHING THAT I WAS TAUGHT.
NOT FINALLY FINDING OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO SEEK TRUTH AND TO KNOW FOR MYSELF, BY MYSELF, WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF OTHER INFLUENCES.
- GROWING UP KNOWING THAT I WAS GAY AND GROWING UP IN THE CHURCH AND BEING TOLD THAT IT'S WRONG.
NOW THAT I'M OLDER, I REALIZE THAT GOD MADE ME THIS WAY.
- I TOLD MY FATHER THAT I LIKED WOMEN, AND HIS RESPONSE, OF COURSE, WAS BIBLICAL, THAT THE FATHER IS PAYING FOR THE SINS OF THE-- SO THAT THE DAUGHTERS ARE PAYING FOR THE SINS OF THE FATHER.
- IS IT SERVING ME TO CONSISTENTLY REMIND MYSELF, ESSENTIALLY, OF BEING TOLD THAT I'M A SINNER IF I LOVE A CERTAIN WAY?
IS IT SERVING ME TO SAY THAT I'M A SINNER IF I MAKE MISTAKES, THEREFORE I DON'T BELONG?
I FEEL LIKE I STRUGGLE WITH THIS JUST NEEDING TO BE PERFECT, NEEDING TO SHOW UP, AS A PERFECT BEING, AND THAT'S JUST NOT A REALITY.
SO, I'M ALWAYS HAVING TO UNDO THAT WORK.
I THINK THAT THAT'S WHERE THEY COME INTO CONFLICT WITH ONE ANOTHER.
- WE BELIEVE IN GOD TOO, FINALLY ADDRESSES THAT QUESTION.
WHY IS IT THAT OUR SPIRITUALITY, OUR BELIEFS, OUR LOVE IS QUESTIONED WHEN IT DOESN'T ALIGN WITH THE BINARY, HETERONORMATIVE PERSPECTIVE, RIGHT?
WHY IS IT THAT WHEN WE ACTUALLY CHOOSE TO LOVE A GOD, WHETHER THAT BE A GOD OF EARTH, WHETHER THAT BE A GOD OF CHRISTIANITY, WHETHER THAT BE A GOD WITHIN THE REALMS OF JEHOVAH WITNESS, THERE IS THIS CONCEPTION AND THIS IDEA OF GOD.
WHY IS IT THAT ONCE WE INVOLVE THE LGTBQIA+ COMMUNITY, IT'S WRONG?
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IN GOD, YOU CAN'T HAVE FAITH, THE CONCEPT OF FAITH.
YOU CAN NOT ACTUALLY HAVE THAT IF YOU DECIDE TO LOVE SOMEONE AMONGST THE SAME SEX.
THAT IS THE QUESTION THAT I'M BRINGING AND OPENING UP THE CONVERSATION OF WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO HOLD SPACE AND BUILD THE BRIDGE BETWEEN QUEERNESS AND THE CHURCH.
- I HONESTLY THINK THAT BEFORE THE BLACK CHURCH CAN EMBRACE THE COMMUNITY AT ALL, THE BLACK CHURCH NEEDS TO DO A LOT OF WORK AROUND DIVESTING FROM WHITE SUPREMACY, RIGHT?
THE SORTS OF HOMOPHOBIA THAT WE SEE IN THE BLACK CHURCH ARE DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO WHITE SUPREMACY, SPECIFICALLY TOWARDS ANTI-BLACKNESS.
- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH CHRISTIANITY, OR THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH RELIGION AS LONG AS YOU USE IT FOR YOURSELF THOUGH, AND NOT TRYING TO IMPLY IT, OR FORCE IT, OR JUDGE ON ANYBODY ELSE.
- I THINK GOD CAN COME IN MANY DIFFERENT FORMS AS WELL.
I DON'T THINK IT'S JUST ONE SPECIFIC THING.
I THINK IT COULD BE LOTS OF DIFFERENT THINGS.
I FEEL LIKE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP IN THE CHURCH, I FELT LIKE I WAS PRESENTED A VERY SPECIFIC TYPE OF GOD, BUT AS I GOT OLDER AND BECAME MORE SPIRITUAL, I FELT LIKE THINGS DEFINITELY OPENED UP.
- I'VE BEEN TO SOME CHURCHES.
SOMETIMES I LITERALLY GET PHYSICALLY ILL IF IT'S NOT A GOOD PLACE FOR ME.
MY SPIRITUALITY ABOVE ALL COMES FROM MY CONNECTION, FROM A NATIVE AMERICAN AND INDIGENOUS SIDE, THE OCCULT IN SOME ASPECTS, BEING AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN, AND JUST THE VIBRATIONS AND INTUITION I FEEL.
- I FEEL LIKE BELONGING IS LOVE.
BEING ABLE TO CREATE THAT SPACE FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO EXIST IN THAT.
BEING ABLE TO CREATE A CONTAINER SAFETY FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS MYSELF BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID, IT LOOKS DIFFERENT EVERY SINGLE DAY.
- THE ONLY THING THAT YOU HEAR REPEATEDLY MORE IN THE BIBLE THAN ANY OTHER WORD IS LOVE.
SO, WHY CAN'T WE CHOOSE WHO WE LOVE?
WHY CAN'T I HAVE FRIENDS THAT IDENTIFY WITHIN THE COMMUNITY, AND SUPPORT THEM, AND LOVE THEM?
- I THINK OF A TRIANGLE AND KNOWING THAT I AM IN THREE DIFFERENT PARTS OF MY LIFE.
I'M QUEER I'M BLACK, AND I'M RELIGIOUS, BUT DURING MY LIFE, THROUGHOUT MY DAY, I CAN'T BE ALL THREE AT ONCE.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN ONLY BE TWO STRONG AT A TIME, AND THEN THERE'S ALWAYS THAT TOP OF THE TRIANGLE THAT I'M MISSING.
SO, IT'S NEVER LIKE I'M FULLY ALL THREE AT THE SAME TIME.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE ALL OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME, BUT DIFFERENT SITUATIONS REQUIRE ME TO HIDE WHAT I CAN'T REALLY SHOW AT ALL TIMES.
- THIS IS WHO YOU ARE, RIGHT?
YOU CAN HAVE BOTH.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE UP GOD, OR RELIGION, OR SPIRITUALITY FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR QUEERNESS, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR QUEERNESS FOR THE SAKE OF GOD, RIGHT?
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE.
- I CAN NOT JUST SIT BY AND COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING AND NOT DO ANYTHING.
SO, BEING AN ACCOMPLICE MEANS I SHOW UP EVERY DAY, NO MATTER HOW I'M FEELING AND WHAT I NEED TO DO.
THAT MEANS I'M WILLING TO GET ARRESTED IF NEEDED.
I'M GOING TO SPEAK UP AND PUT MYSELF ON THE LINE.
IT MEANS THAT I WILL ASK THOSE HARD QUESTIONS.
I WILL SIT UP LATE AT NIGHT AND CONSOLE SOMEONE WHEN THEIR FAMILY SHUNS THEM FOR BEING WHO THEY ARE.
THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS.
IT DOESN'T MEAN JUST SHOWING UP AND WAVING A FLAG AT THE PRIDE PARADE, IT MEANS ACTUALLY BEING THERE FOR SOMEONE NO MATTER THE COST, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.
FEELING AND PROVIDING EMPATHY AND SPACE FOR SOMEONE TO BE THEMSELVES, TO LET IT OUT, TO FEEL BETTER.
WHETHER THAT'S GIVING THEM A RESOURCE TO GO TO A CLINICIAN IF NEEDED, OR SEEK THERAPY, OR FINDING THEM A PLACE TO STAY, OPENING YOUR OWN HOME.
THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS TO ME TO BE AN ACCOMPLICE.
WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING AND TO ME IT'S LIKE UNLESS I MAKE THAT TIME, THAT CONNECTION TO UNDERSTAND SOMEBODY ELSE'S STORY, UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY'RE COMING FROM, HOW CAN I FULLY SAY THAT I'VE EVEN ACCOMPLISHED WHY EVEN WAS MEANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH?
BECAUSE I BELIEVE ALL OF US ARE HERE TO CONNECT.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE'RE HERE TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THE BEST WAY THAT WE CAN.
- WE HEAR THE PASTOR PREACH ON AND ON EVERY SUNDAY.
SOMETHING JUST DID NOT ALIGN BECAUSE IF YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT GOD IS LOVE, WHY IS IT THAT WE ARE SPREADING THESE MESSAGES TO OTHER COMMUNITIES THAT IF YOU DO THIS, YOU ARE NOW SHAMED?
GOD DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
WHY WOULD WE ACTUALLY CARE TO SPREAD THAT MESSAGE AMONGST THE OTHER MANY PREDICAMENTS THAT WE ALREADY WITHIN BLACK COMMUNITIES?
WHY WOULD WE WANT TO CONTINUALLY SAY THAT WE ARE NOT LOVED WHEN WE'RE TOLD EVERY DAY THAT WE ARE ALREADY NOT ENOUGH?
- KNOWING AND ACKNOWLEDGING TO MYSELF THAT I WAS QUEER AND STILL IN THIS PLACE OF NOT KNOWING IF I COULD RECONCILE MY QUEERNESS WITH GOD.
SO, WHAT IT CAME DOWN TO WAS REALLY THIS DECISION IN MY HEAD.
AT THE TIME, I BELIEVED IN A HELL, AND AT THE TIME, I BELIEVED IN THE RHETORIC THAT QUEERNESS WOULD SEND YOU TO HELL.
SO, FOR ME, WHAT CAME UP WAS IF I'M GONNA GO TO HELL BECAUSE I'M QUEER, AND I CHOOSE MY QUEERNESS, OR IF I DON'T CHOOSE MY QUEERNESS AND I CAN NOT LIVE IN A WORLD OF HETEROSEXUALISM, RIGHT?
THAT MEANS THEN, I DO NOT WANT TO EXIST HERE ANYMORE, AND I'M GONNA GO TO HELL FOR KILLING MYSELF.
IF I'M GONNA GO TO HELL EITHER WAY, WHY NOT BE GAY, RIGHT?
- SO, WE CAN HAVE A COMMUNITY, WE CAN HAVE COLLECTIVE THOUGHTS AND PEOPLE, BUT IF THE CORE ISN'T THROUGH LOVE, IF THAT CORE IS THROUGH JUDGMENT, AND THEN IT'S NOT GOING TO BE AUTHENTIC.
- FAITH IS REALLY SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.
I FEEL LIKE BEING BLACK AND-- BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE, WHEN WE COME OVER AS SLAVES, AND WE WERE TAUGHT ABOUT RELIGION AND GOD, THAT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MY ANCESTORS REALLY HAD.
YEAH, REALLY HAD.
THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS THEIRS AND NOBODY COULD TAKE AWAY.
THROUGH ALL THE STRUGGLES THAT THEY WENT THROUGH, THEY KEPT FAITH, AND THAT'S WHAT KEPT THEM PUSHING, AND THAT'S WHAT BUILT SO MUCH RESILIENCE, AND THAT'S WHY I'M ABLE TO DO SUCH INCREDIBLE THINGS AS A BLACK PERSON.
SO, THAT FAITH IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
- YOU KNOW, READING, AND MEETING OTHER PEOPLE, AND ASKING QUESTIONS.
CAN I BOTH BE QUEER AND BE A PERSON OF FAITH?
I REMEMBER, I HAD A PASTOR SAY TO ME, "WELL, CAN YOU NOT BE QUEER?
AND CAN YOU NOT BE A PERSON OF FAITH?"
AND I WAS LIKE, "NO, I CAN'T."
SO, SHE WAS LIKE, "SO THEN, JUST BE WHO YOU ARE."
THAT FOR ME, WAS LIKE THE PERMISSION THAT I NEEDED TO NOT FEEL LIKE I NEEDED TO SEPARATE ANY PARTS OF MY IDENTITY FROM THIS UNDERSTANDING OF GOD, OR UNIVERSE, OR SPIRITUALITY.
- AS BLACK FAMILIES, WE KIND OF GROW UP WITH THE PATENT LEATHER SHOES ON, WITH THE LITTLE WHITE DRESS, GOING TO CHURCH EASTER.
I'M TRYING TO STAY AWAKE, ALL THAT STUFF.
I'M LIKE, "GOD'S GONNA BE SO MAD AT ME."
AND THEN, JUST AS LIFE AND LIFE EXPERIENCES, AND THEN, JUST MEETING DIFFERENT PEOPLE, OBVIOUSLY, FURTHER EDUCATED MYSELF.
I JUST CAME TO REALIZE THAT THE ACTUAL BOOK AND ACTUAL RELIGION WAS HUMAN-BASED.
SO, IF WE BASE THIS ULTIMATE IDEA AND LIFESTYLE OF WHO WE SHOULD BE OR HOW WE SHOULD ACT WHEN HUMANS HAVE FREAKING ERROR, THEN, AM I SUPPOSED TO BE MAD AT MYSELF FOR BEING QUEER, OR AM I SUPPOSED TO BE MAD AT THE BIBLE FOR WHO CREATED IT AND WHY IT WAS USED FOR THE TOOL THAT IT HAS BEEN?
- IT'S TAKEN A LOT OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS TO GET TO MY MEETING FULLY OF WHAT AND WHO IS GOD BECAUSE ESSENTIALLY, IN MY UPBRINGING, I WAS TOLD THAT GOD IS A WHITE MAN, BUT AS I AM THE EBONY TODAY, GOD HAS GROWN TO BE EVERYTHING.
GOD IS EARTH, GOD IS THE ELEMENTS, GOD IS IN MY DECISION-MAKING, GOD IS LOVE.
- I JUST FEEL LIKE IT'S THE FAITH ASPECT OF SPIRITUALITY THAT HAS REALLY HELPED ME AND GIVEN ME THE STRENGTH TO OVERCOME HARD, BAD, DIFFICULT TIMES IN MY LIFE.
- GOD IS EVERYONE, THE AIR THAT WE BREATHE, THE CONNECTIONS THAT WE MAKE, THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT WE HAVE EVERY SINGLE DAY, WHETHER IT'S GOOD, WHETHER IT'S BAD.
GOD IS JOY, HAPPINESS, REALLY EVERYTHING.
- I DON'T THINK THERE IS A SINGLE GOD IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE, BUT I DO BELIEVE IN THE ENERGY OF THE UNIVERSE, A CERTAIN SPIRITUALITY THAT STEMS FROM MY INDIGENOUS HERITAGE.
SO, I DON'T GOD IS OUTSIDE OF ME, I BELIEVE GOD IS WITHIN ME.
- EVERYTHING THAT IS, IS GOD.
SPIRITUALITY IS JUST THAT CONNECTION TO THE SPIRIT WITHIN MYSELF, THE SPIRIT WITHIN OTHERS, THE SPIRIT WITHIN ALL LIVING THINGS.
- A LOT OF PEOPLE, WHEN THEY READ THE BIBLE, IT IS A PERSONAL INTERPRETATION.
IT'S NOT NECESSARILY-- IS IT REALLY WHAT GOD INTENDED US TO BE LIKE?
SO, I THINK, FOR ME, ONCE I BECAME AN ADULT, I HAD TO FIND SPACES THAT HONORED GOD AND PEOPLE THE WAY THAT I DID.
- TRUST EACH OTHER, TRUST THE INTUITION, THE VOICE WITHIN YOUR HEAD THAT IS TELLING YOU, "NO, GO LEFT AND DON'T GO RIGHT."
WE'RE STILL LIKE, "EVERYBODY ELSE IS GOING RIGHT, SO LET ME GO."
NO, TAKE THE PATH THAT IS NOT CLEAR YET BECAUSE THROUGH YOU TAKING THAT PATH, YOU'RE LEADING OTHERS WITH YOU, AND THAT'S WHERE WE NEED TO GO.
- I'M JUST HERE TO BE A GOOD PERSON.
I'M HERE TO LIVE MY BEST, AUTHENTIC LIFE, AND BE TRUE TO MYSELF AND WHO I AM, AND THERE'S ALL KINDS OF PARTS THAT MAKE ME WHO I AM.
MY QUEERNESS, MY SPIRITUALITY, MY BLACKNESS, THOSE ARE JUST DIFFERENT PARTS, BUT THERE'S SO MUCH THAT MAKES ME WHO I AM.
I THINK I'M JUST HERE TO BE A SERVICE TO PEOPLE, AND HELP PEOPLE, BE KIND AND RESPECTFUL TO PEOPLE, SHOW LOVE TO PEOPLE.
- I CAN'T MAKE ANYBODY CARE, ACTUALLY.
IT'S ACTUALLY NOT MY JOB TO MAKE YOU CARE.
IT IS MY JOB TO INFORM, TO LAY OUT THE CONTENT, TO LAY OUT THE MESSAGING, TO LAY OUT THE INFORMATION THAT IS THERE, AND THEN IT IS YOUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOURSELF.
IT IS YOUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOURSELF IN IGNORANCE.
IT IS YOUR JOB TO ACTUALLY LOOK AT SOMETHING THAT MAYBE MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT WOULD BE PROGRESSIVE.
I CAN'T ACTUALLY MAKE YOU CARE.
ALL I CAN DO IS BE RESPECTFUL AND LAY IT OUT FOR YOU AND ASK THAT YOU TAKE THE TIME TO SEE, SEE SOMETHING THAT IS DIFFERENT THAN YOURSELF, AND ALSO BE OPEN TO THAT CHANGE.
- I FEEL LIKE THE WAYS IN WHICH YOU SHOW UP IN THE WORLD, YOU'RE ABLE TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY AND KNOW WHERE YOU DID WRONG.
THEN, WHO AM I TO SAY THAT YOU DO NOT BELONG IN ANY SORT OF COMMUNITY?
WHO AM I TO SAY THAT YOU DO NOT BELONG TO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, OR WHATEVER?
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE, AGAIN, WE'RE ALL HUMANS AND WE'RE ALL TRYING.
- FEAR IS ONLY REAL IF YOU CONTINUE TO HARBOR IT, IF YOU CAN CONTINUE TO WALK WITH IT.
YOU JUST GOT TO BE WHO YOU ARE, AND THAT IS THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD IS TO BE YOU, BUT IT'S WORTH IT THOUGH.
- I THINK WE NEED TO COLLECTIVELY HEAL AS BLACK FOLK WITH EACH OTHER, THROUGH EACH OTHER.
SHOW UP VULNERABLY AND HONESTLY IN WHO WE ARE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO PORTRAY AN IMAGE TO THE WORLD.
JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AUTHENTICALLY.
THAT'S YOUR SUPERPOWER.
[MUSIC]

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